dndogs:

other people’s puppies when you offer them your hand: *gives you their paw*

my puppy in the same scenario:

(via suckmyemergencyinductionport)

reachouts:

space-lesbo:

theguywiththewhitespot:

You all keep just assuming that Miles, Gwen, and Peni talk in memes, which implies that memes are a universal consistant.

Alternativly, they all communicate in memes, but all of their memes are different.

they’re all just a little bit different from ours

Miles: This bitch empty; SKEET

Peni: It’s a kumquat… thaaanksssss

Gwen: Street work ahead??? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does

Peter, who has our memes: *cries*

Gwen: smells like upcat in here

Miles: what’s upcat?

Gwen: nothing much, what’s up with you??

Peter: no- no that’s not-

(via sunshines-stories)

the only valid d&d experience

suzieboozieblack:

thestarsarelaughing:

wymanthewalrus:

epic-level-zero:

witchdoodle:

dm: this npc’s name is jamedi cosko
players: right, jumanji costco

Me: Names a powerful Devil after the irl demon Allocen

My players: The fearsome devil Allison

Me: This is Safrax the vampire king, your greatest ally.

My players: Ah yes good old Saffron how is he

Ah, our powerful ally of sorts, Nora Fenn. Never to be known as anything other than Nurofen. 

@rollfortrouble

(via queersanddragons)

chaoticdense:

beesplaybanjos:

Late tonight a bunch of staff are playing a game called role call and if you thought fugitive was wild just w a i t until i tell you how this goes cause role call is absolutely terrifying

We aren’t letting the campers play it so that lets us up the scare factor by 147%

Ok so the game had to be pushed back a few days so we can figure out scheduling so heres the gist of it.

The more people you have for this game, the better. It has to happen at night. The people get into a straight line, and begin to walk in that line all around the area. They cannot turn around and look at each other, and cannot speak; with the exception of the person at the front of the line.

That persons job is to begin the role call. They simply say, “Role Call!” And their name, then each person down the line says their name in turn.

Here’s the kicker: there’s one person not included in the line. The Taker. They have the job of stealing away the person at the end of the line as silently as possible. The game’s sole purpose is to instill a sense of fear and paranoia in whoever is in front, because as more people get taken, there are less and less people to say their names during the Role Call.

The front person decides when they want to start the Role Call. Obviously, the more often it’s said, the less scary it is. But as more and more people disappear, they become Takers and can then do more damage than just the one.

Some Takers can replace the person they stole, making the person directly in front of them either incredibly paranoid or safe. At least until the Role Call. Takers cannot say anything during it, so it usually ends up more terrifying to know that the person behind you is silent. Again, everyone in the line cannot make a sound except responding to the Role Call.

The game is over when the person in front is taken. There is no winning, only waiting. Waiting for your turn to go. Imagine the fear that person in front has, when they softly announce “Role Call” only to find that everyone behind them is gone.

Not exactly a game for the weak willed.

(via krittyko)

probablybadrpgideas:

In the same way that spell-users need to spend 8 hours memorising spells, rule that fighters need to spend 8 hours working out or they run out of punch-slots.

bloodbornethot:

bloodbornethot:

I love when kittens lay down and you see their little tummy and its like a sign from God

Tumby

(via christinecanigula)

pinkdementors:

pinkdementors:

love how all the stark siblings are wearing the Sansa Stark Winter Collection™️ … solidarity

everyone: sansa is gonna betray the starks in s8!!!

sansa: is literally hand-making matching direwolf outfits for her and her family

(via virginieawoolf)

virtualsentiment:

wow come for my neck like that

(via paperthinrevolutionary)

halleregina:

halleregina:

Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is

• The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.
  
• Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.
• People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.
• It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. 
• Regular customers included:
• A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject
• A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”
• An actual group of Neo-Nazis
• An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
• Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
• A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”
• I have more these are just off the top of my head

I can’t believe I forgot

• two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not
  
• I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.

(Source: halles-comet, via dashingdetectivetimelady)

The Signs As…. Iconic John Mulaney Quotes

astr-odiac:

Aries: “Brush your teeth. Now, boom, orange juice. That’s life.”“

Taurus: ”My vibe is like, you could pour hot soup in my lap and I would probably apologize to you.”                                                              

Gemini: “Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare~” 

Cancer: “First of, no.”

Leo: “My dad pulled into the drive-thru, and we started cheering and then he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving.”

Virgo: “And I had that thought… That only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel could have.”

Libra: “Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”

Scorpio: “I just need everyone to like me so bad.”

Sagittarius: “Everyone get out of my way. I just want to sit here and feed my birds.”

Capricorn: “And I said no. You know, like a liar.”

Aquarius: “I’ll keep all of my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.”

Pisces: “In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

(via weirdmageddon)